I want to serve the Lord. I really do.
By the time I graduated in college, Pres. Monson has not announced yet the change on missionary age requirement. I have already planned my life since I was sixteen. I graduated at 20 y/o, so I thought I've a year left before I leave for mission. I'm so excited to serve but it's okay for me to wait for just a year because I can make all the necessary preparations. Right after I graduate that April I went to another city found a job and signed a year contract to work for them. In a short period of time, I got the uhmmm one of kinda peculiar positions in that entity.
And then the October 2012 Gen Conf came... Imagine my frustration when I heared President Monson announced the age change. I can't breach my contract so I continue to work there. But Satan tempted me and used my career as one of the hindrances for me to doubt my desire to go on a mission. I got so busy with my responsibilities and forgot my main purpose, which is to prepare on serving Him. I began doubting my desire. Like, "What if I can't have a job like this when I get home from mission? I love the benefits I get on this company and I love my position." I began to procrastinate the day of when should I serve Him. And then I attended the Multi-Stake YSA Conference. It opened my mind to lots of things regarding on serving a full-time mission. I began attending the Mission Prep Class on the ward I'm attending in. My Mission Prep teacher's a newly returned missionary. He's taking up the same major as what I've got. I didn't tell him my "doubts". But one day, when I came to class twenty minutes early, he's already there. He made me open my Bible, to the 18th chapter of Luke. He made me read the verse 27 aloud and continued to verses 29 to 30. "The things which are impossible with men are possible with God." How awesome is that?! Verses 29 to 30 are promises for a man who'll leave on serving the Lord. Go check it out right now. I don't know what to say that time. That week also, I got my patriarchal blessing. After few promises, the first blessing that the patriarch told was about me serving a full-time mission. Second thing? MY CAREER! Tears won't stop flowing on my eyes that time. After my contract ended, I immediately went back home, (here in Palawan) and made an appointment with my bishop. While processing my papers, I found a job. It's a "much better" job than the former one. Higher position, greater benefits to name a few. Right now, I'm just waiting for my mission call. As of Nov 27th, my assignment has been made. I am not afraid to leave this company nor to postpone any opportunity that will boost my career. Why? Because I know, I have a more important thing to do first. Which is to help the Lord on his "business".What business? "To bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of men." I have a firm hope and faith on the blessings indicated in my patriarchal blessing. It's up to me to gain those, I know, that's why I'm working on it.
So for any of you who are struggling with the same dilemma, ask Him through a sincere and earnest prayer, He listens and answers. Answers come through reading the scriptures, Liahona, or even from people whom He sent on your way. I know, that through the Holy Ghost, you'll receive those answers. :) Remember, "Doubt your doubts before you doubt your faith." The Lord loves you and He doesn't want you to be confused. :)